Good Morning! Its approximately 730 am EST, and I am already up and "Adam", as they say, attempting to bring pithy observations and humor to the world, primarily thru my knowledge of professional wrestling and baseball.
For those of you who read yesterdays Royal Rumble Blog, and don't know nor care about the actual results, Randy Orton got the nod, winning this years edition of the event.
You may recall that I noted that this year truly only had 2 real candidates for victory, Orton being one, and Triple H being the other. So while I could technically take "credit" for being correct, I am going to decline doing so, since ultimately , I did select HHH for victory.
However, I am asking the gallery of readers ( up to 6- and before you know it, the readership here will far exceed other such notable publications such as Woodsmens Weekly, Beaver Hunt, and Utah's Monagamous Living Quarterly) if I am allowed any special bonus points for the fact that Orton & HHH were the last two men in the ring. The decision is in your hands!
Sorry I didnt get the opportunity over the weekend to witness firsthand former Oakland As/ Texas Rangers/Boston Red Sox/ Tampa Bay Rays/ Appalachian Squirelstompers/ETC/ ETC star Jose "Juiced" Canseco take on none other than Danny "Partridge /Long Break Between Jobs/ Talk Radio Star/ Transvestite "John"/ Reality Star " Bonaduce in a Celebrity Boxing Match in the City of Brotherly Love, Philadelphia, PA.
Bonaduce, who, while several years older and about a foot a a half shorter, hung in and not only lasted the duration, but managed a majority decision draw with his much more athletically gifted and stronger opponent. Bonaduce has a well earned rep as a "tough guy", being that he once beat the hell out a guy dressed as a woman whom he had picked up one drunken drug induced night in Chicago about 15 years ago, in addition to seemingly really having his wife scared shitless in his tv show about 3 years ago. Given his disadvantages in this battle, Bonaduce deserves whatever praise one might get for participating in such an endeavor.
Canseco, on the other hand, continues to disappoint those of us who thrive on manipulating a paying audience into watching former athletes take on manufactured villans, and thusly, exorcise their demons, by constantly allowing himself to put in the most precarious of positions by either his poor management or poor judgement ( he apparently does not have a lack of either)
From looking at the photos from the fight, a few things stand out:
1) Jose appeared to think the bout was for the "World Tattoo Title", as his whole torso and arms were covered in ink; given his experiences with needles, this probably didnt bother him as much as one might think ( and for the record, the look, design, and creativity of his ink pales in comparision to my friend Jimmy " Handsome/Boogie Woogie Man/WWE Hall of Famer" Valiant)
2) Bonaduce is a pretty serious athlete himself, as in photos, he was captured skipping rope with a bottle of what appeared to be a protein shake on the counter, plus a Marlboro in his mouth
3) Not alot of people in Philly, a "fight town", so to speak, a town reknown for being willing to pay to watch Longshoremen beat up Papal like figures on the parking lot of Veterans Stadium, appeared to care to witness the "sweet science" applied on this night.
Jose, it could have been SOOO much different!
If only Mr. Canseco would have chosen a different path, maybe made a few wiser choices ( as in, at least one wise choice) he could have wrote his own meal ticket. Instead, the man who once "dated" Madonna and was one half of the "Bash Brothers" has been reduced to fighting a man half his size who, 40 years ago, was most noted for the shenanigans he pulled on a multi colored bus, agitating his teen idol brother, his angst ridden teen sister, his pretty hot mother (hey,who didnt like Shirley Jones? Show of hands,please) and Rueben Kincade. What a pity.
Jose, you coulda beena ..... Contender!
Thats it for now- who knows what might happen later to inspire me to waste more time writing!
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( I did, however, end up with a bruise on my nose and clown paint all over my arms and hands..I sure hope this was due to the actual in ring stuff..And as for Bonaduce,I watched Hogans wrestling thing,and Bonaduce actually impressed me.of course his biggest challenge was Todd Bridges,And Screech.. so take that for what it's worth
ReplyDeleteBonaduce actually isnt that bad of an athlete....but would you think for a second that Canseco shouldnt have cleaned his clock?
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