I Have Returned!

What a busy few days it has been-I finally have enough time to sit down and put together a blog after a undesired trip to the beautiful (cough cough) greater Baltimore area, starting a new job, having the biggest "grudge match" of my 17 year wrestling career, and working nights as the "Worlds Most Dangerous Bouncer"- But a few things have happened that I feel like addressing to the half dozen readership of this blog, so with out further decay, er delay, here goes:

VARITEK RESIGNS: Great to see that Capt TEK finally inked up on the 1 year/5 million deal-this nonsense was another shining example of the weakening hold of Scott Boras on the MLB free agent market.
Note to ballplayers: Steer clear of Boras; in three years, he will be doing guest spots on the MLB Channel and Baseball Tonight; teams are tripping over each other trying to avoid the clients of this jackel- dont be the next guy to get bad advice and lose 5 million like TEK did!

STEELERS WIN SUPER BOWL: A well played game where the better team won. Enough said.

On second thought.... Congratulations to the Steelers, and their hordes of fans who will now spend the next 6 months acting like they actually won the game themselves.

I have found that, in all of sports, with the exception of Yankee fans, there is not a more obnoxious bunch than these yellow towel waving idiots ( no offense, Battlin' Bob) who are always wearing black and gold when they are on top, but put the Wafflesberger jersey away when their team is struggling.... SHOW SOME GUTS, WEAR IT ALL THE TIME-LIKE BROWNS FANS!- right Shawn?

GOT ANY REEFER, MIKE?- I gotta admit that I was a bit surprised to hear "Olympic Hero" Michael Phelps has a little thing for the ghanja...I had him pegged as the type of guy who like to "smoke" things, but a bong wasnt where I thought his tubular preference lie.

Apparently, the star of the most recent Olympics spent quite the weekend at the University of South Carolina this past November, partyin' like it was 1999, so to speak, so much so that one "anonymous" partygoer was quoted as saying he was "the gold medal winner of bong hits".

Of course, as is customary when someone of this magnitude screws up and lets someone photograph them ( like a moron ) the Agent, the Public Relations Manager, & the Maid all got together and put a really canned sounding apology on paper ( the non-rollable kind) for said hero to read.

Phelps referred to it as " acting in a youthful and irresponsible way" and that he felt the whole incident was "regrettable & bad judgement".

Two pieces of advice for Mike: 1) everyone makes mistakes-we can all understand your certain ( Ted Knight voice...)"zest for living", and it isnt fair for you to be judged different than others because you're a "Hero" ( btw, how does a swimmer, despite 8 gold medals, become a "hero to Americas youth?" Christ, if thats really true, Im f**king terrified) but next time, make sure the cameras arent rolling, so to speak. Your "friends" cant wait to turn a buck and crucify you. Smarten up.

2) If you pull Wheaties out of the box and put them under a 300 watt heatlamp for about 6 days, it will taste eerily similiar to "dirt weed".

And with that, I think I will close, but not without a final musical question : Who Let The Dogs Out? Who? WHO? WHO? WHO?

Thank you- Good Night!